


Dear Dean Winchester

by FanfictionIsLife1234



Series: The 'Someone That I Used to Know' Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cheating Dean Winchester, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Sad Ending, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:08:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25372900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanfictionIsLife1234/pseuds/FanfictionIsLife1234
Summary: I am so sorry
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Series: The 'Someone That I Used to Know' Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854937
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	Dear Dean Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: Cheating, self harm, self hatred, suicide, corpses, descrimitory language

**_Dear Dean Winchester,_ **

**_I wish I could say I hated you. I want to, I want to so badly, but I can't. I could never hate you._ **

**_I have known you nearly my entire life. You were my best friend, the first person I came out to, my first kiss... My first time. My first love. My first everything. Words cannot express how much love I feel for you. It was foolish of me to think that you felt the same._ **

**_My mother and father hate me. My siblings no longer speak to me. I am constantly belittled and beaten down by my coworkers, and all of my friends stopped talking to me after what happened. I have no-one. I am nothing._ **

**_It is not my intention to make you feel bad with this letter, but I can't die without saying anything. ~~Please do not blame yourself, beloved.~~_ **

**_When you asked me to be your partner, I was ecstatic. It felt like a dream come true. These past 10 years were the happiest I had ever been. I thought you loved me. I've always been told that I was a foolish boy._ **

**_Did it make you feel better to say those things to me, Dean? Did it make you feel better to call me a faggot and a pansy? To tell me that you had never actually loved me? That Lisa is the only one you will ever love?_ **

**_Funny how you never thought to say that until I found you two in our bed._ **

**_I can't keep living like this anymore. I'm so alone all the time. I haven't eaten in weeks. I can't remember when the last time I slept was. I lost my job. I'm in so much pain, and the only thing that makes it better is my blade. I can't cope with living anymore._ **

**_I have and will always love you, Dean Winchester._ **

**_-Castiel Novak_ **

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 

1 week later, Dean found himself in front of his ex's appartment. He felt bad about what happened, and if he was being completely honest with himself, he missed Cas. 

He knocked on the door and waited. And waited. And waited. He twisted the doorknob and found it to be unlocked. So he went inside.

"Cas?" He called. "Where are you,man? I need to talk to you," Dean yelled. He wrinkled his nose. It smelled _terrible_ in here. He made his way to their- Cas' bedroom, thinking that Cas was in bed, probably moping. As he passed the bathroom, he glanced through the open door, and froze in horror. In the bathtub, Castiel lay motionless, his bright blue eyes glassed over and dead to the world. His arms had deep gashes in them from his wrists to his forearms, and bottles of pills and vodka littered the floor. Blood had stained everything, and small bugs were crawling around. Dean gagged when he realized that Cas' body had started to decay. He rushed into the bathroom, pulling out his phone to dial 911, when a peice of paper on the counter caught his attention. He looked closer and read the first line.

**_Dear Dean Winchester...._ **

His heart shattered, and for the first time in 30 years, Dean sank to the floor and wept.


End file.
